Attitude is Everything

I am ashamed to say that mine has been BAD! Really bad!
I forgot to have faith and have let that affect me horribly. The stress of the adoption/work/homeschooling/family time/etc. all rolled into one had driven me crazy. I have been irritable and snappy. I had forgotten my promise to God 3 1/2 years ago when we started this process.
I told God that I would not get upset when delays happened because I knew that God was all about timing and He would be timing the right children into our house at the right time. (And through all of this, I have been begrudgingly praying that no matter how much I whine and cry, I still want the children in my house that God wants in my house, even if it takes longer.)
At the time I prayed, the delays I was thinking about was paperwork getting lost in the mail and delaying a week or two, or stomach virus that keeps us from filing something for a few days, or anything else trivial that would delay it by a short time.
Never, never did I realize I was unknowingly praying for patience and increased faith. I made that promise to God and He apparently decided to test me with it. I pray I win the war of this test and come out faithful and I think I will, but I sure have lost some battles with faith along the way. Thank God that He is forgiving and lets me start over. What a mess I would be if I couldn't.
I was reading an adoptioin blog last night and I read the story of her adoption. So familiar. So encouraging. Long story short, they decided to adopt from the Ukraine, the country closed, they waited a few years for it to open back, then they decided to change countries. Then they went to another country, fell in love with a little boy, waited a year for him and that fell through. Then they questioned if God actually told them to adopt. (sounds familiar to me). Changed again and ended up wanting a little boy on a waiting list, but thought it was impossible to get him. Her daughter picked him also out of the waiting list. Then a week later, their agency referred that exact boy. His situation had changed about the time they got their paperwork in. I am not doing this story justice. But God was delaying the family because the child He wanted in their home was not ready to be adopted.
I know how they felt when they wondered why God told them to adopt, then put up roadblocks.
Working on my attitude!