So much stress lately!!!!
However, this afternoon, much of that stress will be lifted.
At 3:30pm, we sell our beloved house and land. Lord willing.
More details about that after closing on how God worked this out.
This is definately bitter/sweet
I couldn't go to sleep last night until almost 1am. Thinking, praying, stressing, looking back, etc.
I keep having to remind myself to take a deep breath.
Finally, after wrestling with prayer between hope and tears, God reminded me of Lot's wife. He had something better for her. But she looked back and it killed her. I am not saying that God was threatening me at all.
I just think God was telling me to look forward, quit dwelling on what we will miss, get excited about what He has in store for us.
So, at least until after closing, I am looking forward.
Because if I dwell on the past and the memories there and our hopes for that place while we close, I fear I will either break down crying, have a nervous breakdown, or spend half the time in the bathroom. Stress does that to me. Somehow my nerves are directly linked to my stomach and intestines!
But it was so funny after deciding not to look back and dwell on the past, I had the weirdest dreams about the past. And I actually took a road trip in my dreams. I drove the kids in the van to SC where we used to live and see all of our old friends. Stopped by our old church. Then once I was there, our van turned into our farm tractor with a trailer and I wondered how in the world I was going to drive all the way back to AL with 5 kids using a tractor and how incredibly long that trip was going to take.
I woke up this morning when Aaron did and when I went back to sleep, I had another dream about the past. I ran into a good friend from my teenage years who I used to have a major crush on. I haven't seen him in probably 15 years, so I went and said hi to be nice. He said "wow, you are chunky" I said, no, I am fat and you are a jerk that the first thing you say to an old friend is how fat they are. HA!
And God just used that to remind me. Sometimes there are things that you want really, really bad. But God doesn't let you have them. And when you look back and realize the AWESOME thing God gave you , when if you had your way you would have settled for mediocre or worse, you become much more willing to wait and see what God has in store.
So that is where I am at this moment in time. We'll see where I am 20 min. from now.