"I want you to raise as many children in this world as you can"
A friend of mine from work donated money towards our adoption online. The above is what she wrote in her comments. I teared up as I read it because I think it is the first time that someone has specifically encouraged us to adopt as many kids as we could.
I would wager that for every one encouraging comment that we get about our adoption, we get at least 10 discouraging ones. And by encouraging, I mean a real, heartfelt, we are behind you 100%, WITHOUT the added discouragement of how crazy we are, how we won't be able to communicate with a child that speaks another language, it costs so much, how will you afford 6 kids, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind talking about how much it costs. And if you want to dig a little farther on that part, I don't think I could talk about the cost of adoption any better than this author http://jeremyhaskins.net/2010/05/03/are-we-really-considering-the-cost/
I had 2 friends Sunday night at church who really encouraged me too. I told them about a discouraging conversation I had with someone. They came right to my defense, told me to call them over next time and time and they would have the conversation for me. Thank you friends for the encouragement.
Just be careful. Adoption can be scary. You are stepping into the unknown. So many, many, many people tell me they have considered adoption. Yet, they hardly ever go through with it.
If someone is on the fence about adoption and not 100% committed yet, I could see how all of these negative comments can push them over into the "aw forget it, it's too much work and risk" category. And there's a least one child who doesn't get a family.
Words affect lives people!!!! Your discouragement can affect lives FOREVER!
Discouraging words can leave a child in an orphanage.
Please, please, please weigh your words carefully when you talk to someone about adoption.
Please only encourage! Your encouraging words could be the push someone needs to bring a child into their home. Your encouraging words could get a child out of an orphanage!
Please, feel free to ask me about our adoption. Feel free to ask about the cost. I don't want to discourage anyone from talking to us. I really really don't. Talk all you want to us, we are committed, we won't flip to the other side of the fence. But weigh your words carefully when you talk to others.