Next stop China

Next stop China
Next Stop China!

Monday, March 21, 2011

2 days and fear

We leave two days from now. I am so excited.
Aaron is planning to pack this morning. We didn't get much in donations which is a little disappointing, so we may not actually take all 10 bags we are allowed. We will probably only take 8-9, which will be easier on us moving from place to place. All but one of the bags has wheels with a handle. And that one, I might change it over to one with wheels. It was the one I was planning on just sending to the orphanage and leaving the suitcase too. We'll see.
I must admit, I am a little leery of flying. I haven't since our honeymoon. And although I think I will survive, I have a fear I might freak out when they close the doors, and start screaming "get me off this flying death trap"
Or maybe I won't. I guess I won't know till it happens. I have really been praying about it and I know that God will come through for me like He always does and give me peace. I opened my Bible this morning, looking for peace and this is what I found
Daniel 7:19-23
19At the first sight of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions' den. 20When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice "Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?" 21Daniel answered, "O kind, live forever! 22My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king"
23The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.
OK, God I am trusting in You! Help me not freak out!

Does anyone have any verses that may help me to calm myself? I was thinking last night and praying last night and right now I am about 70% scared and 30% confident and excited. I really want to be 99% confident and excited and 1% scared.

I told Aaron the other night. I feel kind of like I did when we got married. I was terrified of the actual wedding ceremony. I was dreading it, wanting to get it over with. I was not scared to marry Aaron, not scared of being married, but I wanted to get the "ceremony" part over with.
That is how I am with this. I am not scared to adopt. I am not scared to bring two more kids into the house. However, I wish we were at that point instead of all this "ceremony"
I am tight all over. I have kept a stress headache for a week now and I can hardly get to sleep before 12:30am each night.

However, I can't wait to meet the boys! It is surreal!

Thanks for your prayers... Oh and if you do comment, please don't tell me that if we do crash it will only be about 30 sec of terror before the end. I have heard this a few times, and although meant to comfort me, it doesn't really help. Go figure!

No comments:

Post a Comment